Tag: tw: eating problems

So I’ve probably talked about the kind of strange phenomenon of men I dated, or even just went on a few dates with, getting in touch with me years later. There’s one guy I went on a few dates with in 2013 but haven’t seen since who keeps sending me Facebook messages at random intervals. I haven’t replied in a couple years. He’s married; he even gave me a last-minute invitation to his wedding. I didn’t go, obviously. Anyway, I posted some pictures on Facebook from my Renaissance fair outing, including this one of me attempting archery:

And, presumably in response to this photo (or maybe the one of me eating a turkey leg, I don’t know), he sent me the message: “Hey! Your renaissance faire pictures just showed up in my feed – you like like you’re in killer shape now! Clearly moving to Canada agrees with you haha”

Which I found especially creepy, because most of his random messages aren’t specifically commenting on my body. And also this photo, since it’s in profile, clearly displays how thin I am, which is actually not good because I’ve been unintentionally losing weight due to depression and anxiety. But thanks for reinforcing my latent eating-disordered thought patterns by telling me how great I look when I’m unhealthily underweight. That’s really what I needed in my life.

Depression Palate™ means most things don’t taste good unless they’re heavily spiced, but Anxiety Stomach™ produces too much acid and gives me indigestion when I eat spicy and/or acidic things.

At least cookie dough ice cream still tastes good.

Sent inquiries to 3 therapists about setting up an intake appointment. Also tried a meal-replacement shake – thanks to whoever made that suggestion. It doesn’t taste fantastic, but it’s calorie-dense and easy to swallow. I feel like one of those philosophy dorkbros who drink Soylent because they want to minimize time spent doing anything other than philosophy (I know, gross)… but it’s not that I don’t appreciate good food, I’m just having some issues right now.

I couldn’t even eat a whole sandwich for dinner, and it tasted fine… until it didn’t anymore. I don’t know what my problem is. Well, depression and/or anxiety, but I don’t know what to do about it. I’m worried that if I get my dose of medication increased that will only make it worse because SSRIs/SNRIs tend to suppress my appetite or make all food seem unpleasant to me even if I feel hungry.