Avengers: We don’t need to prepare for intergalactic space wars
Intergalactic space wars:
Tony Stark, who’s been telling them to be ready since 2012:
MCU Tony: I’m leaving the Avengers.
MCU Steve: Aw. You know, I really am gonna miss you.
616 Tony: I’m leaving the Avengers.
616 Steve: Ugh. This is so unfair.
616 Steve: My heart is so heavy. Unbelievable.
616 Steve: The Avengers should have just left me in the ice.
616 Steve: This planet is just too cruel, now. How will I bring myself to wake up in the morning?
616 Steve: Oh, agony.
AA Tony: I’m leaving the Avengers.
AA Steve: Oh? where’re we going?
If a platonic friend-ship (pun intended) is called a BroTP, what do you call a parental ship? A DadTP? (Uh oh, too close to the word “daddy.”) An AdopTP?
it’s a shame that infinity war will almost certainly have a lot of the avengers working in different places & will probably have loki turn evil for a while because the prospect of tony stark interacting with thor and loki as a unit is….comedically appealing to me. specifically the jaime & cersei lannister jokes he would 100% make about them that would go over both their heads
literally just calls loki “queen lannister” for a whole movie and loki is fine with it because at least he’s being acknowledged as royalty for once
So. Tony
has kept the phone. Of course he has. But who calls first? Do they even
exchange words? I want to know.
Maybe Tony is
tinkering in the workshop when his phone rings, and it is Bruce on the other
side, and Tony is happy, he is thrilled, but then Bruce cuts through Tony’s
babble saying, “You’re really not going to like this, Tony.”
And then,
after talking to Bruce, Tony just stands there for a moment, frozen, mind
momentarily overwhelmed with the enormity of the threat that is heading their
way. He snaps out of his daze, hurrying toward his desk and pulling out the
phone Steve sent him. He glances down at it, half annoyed and half resigned,
before slipping it into his pocket.
Then, in
Strange’s Sanctum, he sort of tunes out Bruce and his babble about Thor and
Asgard burning, and some new space megalomaniac intercepting a ship full of
Asgardian refuges, and he really doesn’t want to listen to this Strange guy
because magic is freaky and illogical, and also he is kind of starting to panic
a bit, the old but never forgotten fear of the vastness of space pressing down
on him.
Tony doesn’t
make the decision consciously, but in between two breaths, he is holding Steve’s
phone in his hand, and he’s never meant to make this call, but the words ‘I’ll
be there’ are echoing loudly inside his head and it’s easier to breathe,
somehow.
And then,
just as Tony is ready to make the call, the tiny screen lights up, followed by
a shrill ringing sound. Tony smiles – in relief, in affection, in amusement –
and then a loud explosion drags his attention away from the phone, and he is
walking toward the door, pressing the phone to his ear, his chest twisting with
a dull ache as Steve’s voice, low and grim, echoes in his ear, “What happens
now, Tony?”
Tony doesn’t
have a clue, and people are screaming outside and there are even more explosions,
and he really should have called before, but now is not time for introspection
or regret or old wounds. Or panic attacks, no matter how much a part of Tony
wants to curl up somewhere and do nothing but try to breathe.
“Come home,
Steve,” Tony says in a surprisingly steady voice and disconnects the call,
slipping the phone back into his pocket. For later. They’re the Avengers, they’ll
make sure there is later.
OK, listen, if you hate Tony Stark, you should probably unfollow me right now. He’s probably my second favorite character in the MCU (after Loki, of course). And while I do not “stan” for anyone, inasmuch as stanning seems to involve being incapable of recognizing the faults of one’s favorites – and as the perennial champion of moral ambiguity, I can recognize the faults in all the figures I admire – I most often find myself identifying with and taking the side of Tony Stark as well as Loki in certain debates with defenders of their opponents (usually Steve Rogers and Thor, respectively). (*Certain* debates, regarding Loki. I also stand firmly against all attempts to woobify him and deprive him of moral responsibility for his villainous actions.)
While I’m here, I should probably also say that if you think Thorki isn’t incest, you should unfollow me, because I unapologetically ship it AS incest. And if you hate Joss Whedon so much that you can’t stand to see anyone expressing appreciation for his artistry – as much as I recognize the problems with his depictions of women and the archaism of his conception of feminism – now would be a good time to unfollow me. I love a good debate as much as anyone on this website – indeed, I seem to have a higher tolerance for disagreement than most (which you might expect, considering my profession) – but I do get tired of rehearsing the same ones over and over again.
robert downey jr honest to fucking god deserves an oscar for that IM1 final press conference scene. for acting like he’s tony stark while tony stark is acting like hes not fucking DYING to be a superhero
i’ve said this before but the thing about playing tony stark is that it’s damn acting inception. dude it’s not about acting like he’s feeling a thing. it’s not even just about acting as if he’s feeling a thing while pretending he’s NOT feeling a thing. this guy has to 1) act like he’s feeling a thing while 2) pretending not to be feeling that thing but also 3) SUBTLY FAILING at pretending not to be feeling that thing. CONSTANTLY
because tony stark is not cold and unemotional or cooly detached, he just pretends to be when it’s convenient, fails in very specific ways (as in, he fails enough for that to be noticed by very few but missed by most), or he’s otherwise playing at a quasi impossible balance between facade and emotional genuineness, like he’s an open book with a page he very neatly torn off jfc do you UNDERSTAND how intense this must be to act and successfully convey to an audience without using any explicit DESCRIPTIVE WORDING i’m pulling all my face muscles just thinking about this
like!!!! this is the reason why iron man comic narrative relied so much on super dramatic third-person narration boxes because he was lying and/or hiding so much of the time and robert downey jr has the unbelievable task of giving us this conflict not only in movies that revolve around his character but also in ensemble movies and movies that take an external perspective on him and he’s not allowed constant voiceovers and solo backstage scenes my goD if rdj doesn’t get more recognition for this role then the entire industry is uh FAKE