So I was fucking about on Pinterest, before I ever heard of Tumblr, in the year of our lord 2014 or so. I loved BBC Sherlock, and had a (short-lived) crush on his stars. I repinned things about Cumberbatch, and then this other skinny foxy-faced pasty brit started to crop up. I hadn’t seen him before in my life, or heard about him. I was disconnected from popular culture, and had dismissed the entirety of superhero movies taking over the world as something that was Not For Me. Wasn’t interested.
So I saw women fawning about this skinny looking fucker and couldn’t see it. I had no idea what they saw in him. I didn’t think he was particularly handsome. They were swooning over Ryan Gosling too, wtf??
But some of his pics came captioned with a few choice Hiddleston words. And they sounded… wise. Considerate. Kind. Optimistic. Eloquent to a pornographic degree. And I kept waiting for the shallowness to be revealed, for the flat note to fall,( to this fucking day I AM STILL WAITING.)
I came to Tumblr for more BBC Sherlock, and stumbled upon lots more Hiddleston there too as well. The guy kept giving delightful interviews, thoughtful, humble, kind and decent, clever. I saw him being cute with fans, dancing like a loon in Asia, giving off waves of pure joy. The guy was having so much fun, he was giving so much of himself, his heart was so open to everything; he was luminous. Who the FUCK was this guy?? I still didn’t think he was hot, but he sure was interesting. Intelligent and articulate and… genuine? I had my reservations of course. All that glitters and all that.
I was definitely starting to see the attraction there. Sure, he was not my type (Jason Momoa and Chris Hemsworth are my type, really, from a purely physical standpoint), but he was… yeah, I could sort of see now why people liked him so much.
I don’t exactly remember in what order these things happened, but they happened SO MUCH: I watched Only Lovers Left Alive, Tom did that charity thing with The Bear Necessities and the bum wiggle to end all bum wiggles (god, he was adorable, FUCK), I discovered the guy was not only a Cambridge graduate, a double first, but a fucking CLASSICS GRADUATE (I’m a classicist too!), AND then at some point I watched Coriolanus. The guy wasn’t just a sparkling brain and a clever mouth who could fucking improvise in Ancient Fucking Greek and a Shakespeare fanboy and a kind hearted soul and a lover of life and a damn fine clothes rack. The guy COULD FUCKING ACT. He was not just a good actor, he fucking oozed talent. I was floored. I still am.
(Then I finally watched Avengers and in 7 minutes flat I was in love with Loki. Enters his brother a number of minutes later, and I was in love with those 2 being in love. And I watched Thor 1 and gaaaaaahhhh fuck Tom GODDAMMIT ALL. But that’s another story for another day.)
EVEN his vanity. I expected him to be a vain fuck. Which at this point wouldn’t have even fazed me, to be honest. I mean, he’s a fucking actor, of course he is vain; and isn’t he pleased to have a big schlong, bless him! I mean, CORIOLANUS. I’m not just talking about the infamous translucent toga thing, I’m talking about the ubertight jeans which allowed one to follow the northward pointing shape of his manhood at all times. He loves (or loved, for a while) that people go crazy about his looks. But it’s the way he does it. Somebody (I forgot who) noted that Hiddleston acted like the nerdy guy in the film who suddenly wakes up in the body of a sex symbol, and he himself doesn’t quite know how that happened, and is not used to it; he is having lots of fun with it, he flirts and poses and likes his crotch rise nice and high, but he like doesn’t take it for granted. Like it’s news to him that he has a face and a body that makes people weak at the knees. And he likes boobs and cleavages and he’s like a pervy little boy at times, and then he is also a perfect, flawless gentleman in the old-fashioned “respect and value the fair gender, get the door and offer your arm” kind of way. I mean, fucking hell Tom.
So he likes being handsome, sure, but then he goes around London in exactly 1 outfit? He sticks to the shoes and jeans and hoodies that feel comfy, and he doesn’t give a fuck if his tracksuit bottoms have holes in them. And he laughs when somebody mentions it, and he still doesn’t give a fuck. He doesn’t actively disparage the whole physical thing (I get tired of Hemsworth huffing and puffing at shirtless scenes at this point), but it’s like he’s as thrown by it as we all are. “So apparently I’m one of the sexiest men alive now. Wait, what?”
My reasons for liking Tom Hiddleston are obvious. And oh so many! He is a joyful, intelligent, eloquent, passionate man, with the heart of a fanboy, the wisdom of an old man, the decency and the kindness of a truly sympathetic person; he has a damn big heart; he responds to people’s love and adoration with humility and gratitude, and I’ve been watching him for years and he has never failed me once (ask me about Taylorgate); we value the same human qualities. We even like the same fucking things. He fucking reads poetry for pleasure. He has such a fucking beautiful voice, and his posh Brit accent is like warm fucking silk caressing the back of your neck. And he goes around giving talks about Dickens vs Dostoyevsky, he flails over the new Jurassic Park films, he still takes the tube to go places, he was having a rough time and he went and got himself a puppy. AND he gives this subby vibe that gets all my dom-leaning juices flowing. Is this man even REAL.
He is a lush bouquet of excellent, in some cases rare human qualities tucked in a 6.2″ skinny but well developed package, of which 75% is legs, at the top of which you find the well-formed, exquisitely matured, money-can’t-buy-it butt of a skinny kid who has been jogging since he was 12. But there are more fine butts and more pretty faces in the world, and they haven’t managed to snatch my entire heart and keep it for going on 4 years now. I have never had a celebrity crush of this caliber, not even when I was 14-years-old.
(Are you a bit sorry you asked now? Don’t I half ramble…)
Was too flaily the first time around but the second time I heard the screams on the floor I was able to get the phone out…and here’s the low quality gif of proof…
And here’s the slightly better (but still very low quality) pic…
Loki is the Philosopher King 