I know I’m about to make an already weird thing weirder (and a sexy thing extremely unsexy), but this caught my attention so here goes: I noticed that the request was for especially large and bony feet, and one thing that makes feet appear bony is having a pronounced joint at the base of the big toe. Do foot, er, connoisseurs have a preference for the “Greek foot,” otherwise known as Morton’s toe? It’s a shortening of the first metatarsal that causes the second toe to protrude past the first and (often) the first toe to angle inward toward the others. It’s sometimes called “Greek foot” because all ancient Greek statues had this feature; apparently the ancient Greeks found it aesthetically pleasing, possibly for reasons having to do with the Golden Ratio, but it actually causes all sorts of musculoskeletal problems (possibly including scoliosis) because of the way it affects your gait.
I looked up pictures of Tom Hiddleston’s (very aesthetically pleasing) feet to see if he has Morton’s toe, and the photo evidence was ambiguous. (Contrary to appearances, I don’t have a foot fetish, but I do have Morton’s toe and a variety of musculoskeletal problems that may or may not be related to it.)
LMAO this might be my favorite ask I’ve ever gotten?!
The only thing I know about Thor’s cock is that it’s big. Other than that, all I know is that it is Loki’s favorite cock, so just imagine whatever you think Loki might adore, and Thor has that.
I’m calling you out, @raven-brings-light. These are not headcanons. These are hard facts.
“Hard facts”? Really?
Thorki fanon about the brothers’ cocks seems to be that they are their owners in microcosm: they are about equally long, but Thor’s is darker, thicker, and veinier. My personal headcanon (not that anyone asked) is that Loki is a shower while Thor is a grower. This would explain why Loki has such bulge problems with his costumes while Thor does not, without sacrificing the fanon that they are equally large while erect.
Loki is the Philosopher King 