Tag: that is hilarious

ao3feed-thorki:

amarguerite:

I went out for drinks with some coworkers as tomorrow’s my last day at the job, and asked one I didn’t know super well about his pet rabbit

“My girlfriend had it since she was a teenager,” said he. “It has kind of a weird name as a result.”

“Oh yeah? It’s not like, Jessica Rabbit, or something from Watership Down, is it?”

“No, no, it’s just… its name is Plot.”

I had a horrible moment where I was choking on my Jack and Coke cry-laughing with all the hilarity of the mild intoxicated person who really needs to order some barfood. Sadly, no one else got that my coworker had a literal plotbunny.

Holy shit, please tell me you got your co-worker’s girlfriend’s phone number. 

elvisqueso:

selfdxd:

selfdxd:

why did we forget abt the ultimate forbidden snack for people who were raised catholic/christian

BFJVKDNKCNSKVNALDNCLANKANBCKAJCBJQK

ok story time:

i once helped out at  this convention for catholic women in my area and they held mass and afterwards there was a LOT more of the host left over than they planned for.  so all like six of the Eucharistic ministers were in a circle eating like seventy of these but because they were already Jesus at this point, we still had to do the “Body of Christ – Amen” thing and pass them out and eat them one at a time.  so there was one minister just going around and around in this little circle saying “Body of Christ” and handing out the host and getting very dizzy.  and i remember being really pissed off that the celebrant beat everyone else out on polishing off the Blood (i.e. the wine that is now also Jesus) bc after eating fifty pieces of what is essentially dried Jesus flakes with nothing to drink your mouth gets dry as the god-forsaken desert

point is: i had way too much Jesus that day and yet also not enough

buzzfeed:

buzzfeed:

crystalitesummerstar:

nitramaraho:

dailymarvelheroes:

get you a man who can do both

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

Y’all, it gets better. She found out.

We interviewed her, obviously.

update: