anakin: when my wife walks down the street, she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her in any situation. she’s my hero. when i walk down the street, i need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. it’s exhausting.
padme: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
obi wan: i’ll keep all my emotions right here. and then one day, i’ll die.
palpatine: and then i said “no.” you know, like a liar.
leia: some people give off a vibe of, right away, they’re like, “do not fuck with me.”
luke: my vibe is more like “hey, you could pour soup in my lap and i’d probably apologize to you.”
han: they’re like, “does that work?” i’m like, “it didn’t NOT work.”
lando: hi, i’m very gay and i’d like a few dollars.
rey: i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress i’m under.
finn: you know those days where you’re like, “this might as well happen”?
poe: i don’t care for these new nazis and you may quote me on that.
kylo: when i’m walking down the street, no one’s ever like, “hey! look at that man!” i think they’re just like, “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child!”
rose:
i try to stay optimistic, even though i must admit, things are getting pretty sticky.
I don’t know what it is about Star Wars but even if it’s not your biggest fandom, it still has the funniest memes by a long shot I mean “look at all the fucks i give anakin” and “your poncho is a piece of junk” and anakin hates sand it’s all just 1000% pure class
I one time did a campaign in DND where the entire party woke up in a trash heap, memories wiped, when a man in shining white armor approached them. He helped them up, healed them, and helped them escape what was essentially the dump and find their way into the sunlight. He told them of the tale of a wicked king of immense power who bargained for his abilities from a demon, hoping to save his kingdom, and succumbed to the evil after his wife died. The wife had a pearl necklace, and it was the man’s duty to find those pearls, because they held a magic in them that could defeat the king.
This particular NPC was startlingly overpowered at first, right a long the levels of 6 while everyone else was just starting out, and he helped them along in the most dire situations, healing, defeating, and even resurrecting for them. There would be periods where he would be gone, and the party would have to face a crypt full of mummies together, or dive into the deepest parts of the ocean and retrieve these milky white pearls that would give them the ability to help their friend and defeat the wicked king. Slowly, their memories came back to them, and that was a stark comfort for them, but the entire time, there seemed to be a piece missing.
After they retrieved 5 pearls (they broke the 6th one), they journied with the man to the wicked king’s castle, and fought their way through endless ranks of guards, undead, demons, and even a lich, until they made their way to the sacred bed chamber of the king, that they all remembered the story of from before they had awoken in that garbage pile. They opened the doors, only to find it empty, save the usual furniture, marred by scratches and the ancient scrawl of demons. The man in the white armor sighed and walked into the bedroom.
And his armor changed from white to pitch black, and the whole party remembered suddenly. That was the face of the wicked king, the face that smiled at them whenever he healed them, the face that looked stern as they suggested stupids things to find the pearls. Apparently, in lapses of the demon’s control, the king had found a way to set him self up for defeat, by bringing his wive’s pearls along with brave, powerful warriors. Every absence he felt was where he had to return to the demon’s control and become the wicked king again, but he was determined to fight himself, to rid his own evil from the world, to end this curse of immortality and see his loved one again.
I made the party fight the final boss, and they saw the eyes of a friend.
They all cried, and I am no longer allowed to DM for them.
Loki is the Philosopher King 