sirtroyofbaker:

balalaikaboss:

ejacutastic:

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between.

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT
WITH ITS EYE OF COAL
SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE
AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

I’d succumb to Belcore tbh

catte im sad :(

catsuggest:

catsuggest:

good mews ! my cousin bartók is on his way to vanquishe your sads

he say he will step upon the face of your sadness with his mighté paws

https://a.tumblr.com/tumblr_peg9bpI1bL1rj391co1.mp3?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
http://philosopherking1887.tumblr.com/post/177946603430/audio_player_iframe/philosopherking1887/tumblr_peg9bpI1bL1rj391c?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fa.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_peg9bpI1bL1rj391co1.mp3

amethyst-skeleton:

crash-bang-boom:

Ask and you shall receive.
xx
Original post here
Backing track here

Reblogging again, here are the transcribed lyrics!

Chorus

Jolene (×4)

I’m begging of you please don’t take my man

Jolene (x4)

Please don’t take him just because you can

Verse One

Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin

And eyes of emerald green

For years our town’s been terrorised

By the beast who takes disguise

In the shell

That calls itself Jolene

Our sleep disturbed by quaking breath

Eyes closed against the threat of death

That lies behind

The teeth of that Jolene

The closer that you get to her

The more those edges seem to blur

To something that

Cannot be called Jolene

Chorus

Verse Two

Your teeth are sharp, your mouth agape

Your claws rend flesh, there’s no escape

From judgement of

The Eldritch One, Jolene

But I’ve seen beyond that auburn hair

My eyes have met your vacant stare

But I’ve been told

I’m hard to scare, Jolene

Chorus but it’s:

Jolene (x4)

I’m begging of you please don’t take my man

Jolene (x4)

I’ll end this story just how it began

I’ll take your teeth if you try to take my man

End.

(edited from op’s corrections)

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

littledeludeddupes:

those snakes are not fighting they are fucking. im very sorry

while two snakes FUCK to the death

bobavader:

bobavader:

also i want thanos to have a counterpart villain called “sex thanos” who goes around planets and makes people fuck more so that there’s even more people and the populations get even bigger and he’s the bane of normal thanos’s existence

also sex thanos looks exactly like nomal thanos but he talks and dresses like austin powers

unwinona:

DragonCon sounds magical

glumshoe:

When my dad was a teenager, he accidentally started working for a restaurant that was a front for the local mafia. He flipped burgers for a semester and then, when he wanted to leave, one of the members pulled a gun on him and said he couldn’t.
“Oh, fuck off,” said the guy’s superior. “Really, man? He just flips burgers, and he’s not even good at it. Let him go, dumbass.”

and that was my dad’s brush with organized crime