(Inspiration: This.image.though.) LOKI REQUIRES A WORSE BETTER SAKAAR MAKEOVER. Hear me out. If you’re gonna have the freaking Grandmaster hitting on Loki, then we’re gonna need to bring Loki’s fashion game up to his level. So while Thor is shunted off to get his hair roughly gladiator-ized, Loki has to suffer and claw through enduring what can only be described as a Sakaarian nightmare version of Dorothy’s Emerald City makeover until he looks like a Mamma Mia reject. Grandmaster LOVES IT. There’s not enough space martini in the nine realms for Loki to cope with it. And when he reunites with Thor, he threatens outright murder if Thor so much as looks at his clicky solid gold booties. Thor does however ‘accidentally’ trip on the excessive train cape once or twice in their escape planning meeting. And now a cut where I tag all the enablers from my previous posts and ship naming voting.
So in modern taxonomy there’s a concept called a “type specimen.” This is a preserved corpse, image, or detailed description which defines a type (species or genus). All the other attributes of a type definition basically amount to “is this close enough to Type Specimen XYZ to be called the same thing as it?” In the event that thinking on where the boundaries are set changes (and that happens ALL THE TIME) whatever’s on the same side of the new boundary keeps the old type; anything placed on the other side needs a new name. (And a new type specimen is selected for that new group.)
Now, this is a fairly recent innovation– older taxonomical systems going back to Linnaeus thought things would be more static than that, so they didn’t feel the need to have a system for what to do in the event of changes. Now, the rule for type specimens is that they have to be one the person who originally came up with the species knew / got to examine. For most of the species Linnaeus described, he’d worked from a specific specimen anyway, and at least a detailed description was preserved, so that was OK.
Problem was Homo sapiens. His description of us amounted to, well, “dis us.” So the modern taxonimists trying to retrofit THAT to up-to-date standards had to sit down and have a good think. And what they came up with was “Well… There’s one specimen of humanity we know for absolute certain Linnaeus examined in great detail. And there are images preserved, and we know where the remains are.”
So Carl Linnaeus is not just human… Carl Linnaeus is the one person who, no matter what the heck weird changes may happen in taxonomy, is human by definition.
For those interested in all the technicalities on how exactly Linnaeus qualifies as the type specimen of Homo sapiens, here is an article from the International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature.
The upshot is that if you are Carl Linnaeus, then by International Code of Zoological Nomenclature, you are VALID, and no one else is.
Loki is the Philosopher King 