That Nobody Asked For
The way they did Loki as Odin in Ragnarok dissatisfied me (big shocker, I’m sure). It’s not that I don’t believe Loki would write a play about himself, or invest in the arts, or sit around in a bathrobe eating grapes. I just don’t think he’d do it because he’s a hedonistic narcissist. Trump’s a narcissist. He’s got a high opinion about himself, loves when his ego is stroked, and throws a fit when it isn’t. Loki thinks that he’s a monster, expects everyone to agree, and grows bitter and spiteful because of it. That’s not the same thing. Think of Blood Brothers. Loki says that Thor was the only one who ever loved him, and he’s killing him because he stopped. He doesn’t attack those that never loved him. Now, Loki is a bit of a hedonist. He’s absolutely easily bored (intelligent people are often bored by mundane routine). I’ve no doubt he’d hate almost everything about ruling. I just don’t think that would make him a shit ruler. So, I’ve written a few headcanons about Loki’s time ruling Asgard. I think they’re a nice balance of intelligence, laziness, self-care, and planning for the future. Feel free to disagree or add your own.
I’ll tag a few people… @philosopherking1887, @kaori04, @lucianalight, @latent-thoughts, @mastreworld, @seidrade, and @icyxmischief (Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged in this sort of thing!)
- Loki dismisses his father’s council (made up of wealthy lords and ladies with little practical knowledge), and forms a new council with younger members, some of them nobility, but many of them common. Their unifying trait is that they are all super competent in the area they’re overseeing. He delegates his kingly duties (the daily grind) to many of them. Loki finds the day to day requirements of being a king tedious, but he’s got a vested interest in everything running smoothly, and he’s not an idiot. To explain why he delegates more duties, he claims his years are catching up with him, and that Frigga’s death drained him. People respect that.
- Loki spends time researching the Infinity Stones. He does so covertly, so as not to attract the attention of Thanos or any of his people. He specifically studies the Tesseract in secret.
- Loki doesn’t bother to send armies to the other Realms. One, their in chaos because puppet governments are falling apart. Loki’s not one for order, particularly not Odin’s order, so he lets the revolutions run their course. Two, he wants to bolster their army for Thanos’ inevitable appearance.
- To that end, he allows rapid advancement among the ranks based on skill (he does away with any nepotism that occurs). It’s not out of a sense of justice. It’s about practicality. Everyone’s got a shot based on their merit. Considering the natural strength of the Asgardian forces compared to other alien races, nepotism likely ran wild. Odin meant to appease the nobles. I imagine Hogun, a Vanir, only got as far as he did because he had Thor’s support. (He does deserves it. I’m not saying he doesn’t. I’m saying the opposite. Like Sif, he had to fight tooth and nail to get respect in Asgard.)
- Loki increases the demand for practitioners of seiðr. He diverts resources to training interested Asgardians.
- If Loki had anything to do with the other Realms, he traded with them (both the puppet governments and the rebels). In effect, he prolonged the instability in other Realms in order to increase Asgard’s treasury.
- The theater, complete with statue in front, isn’t dedicated to himself, but Frigga. The statue is of her.
- He does write plays. However, Loki’s elequent, artistic, and he’s read countless books and plays. He isn’t a bad writer. The play is well written. It is also well acted, since Loki would not be satisfied with such shitty acting. Essentially, watching Loki’s play is every bit as emotional and dramatic as watching the scene in TDW, if not more so. That’s one of the best, most emotional scenes in that movie (and Hemsworth’s best performance in the MCU), and mocking it pisses me off.
- He takes a lot of baths with bubbles and scented oils. It’s very relaxing.
- The paperwork he can’t avoid he does in Frigga’s gardens. He hires the best people to tend to the gardens. Not only does sitting in the gardens make him long for Frigga, it also makes him miss Thor. Being all about the fertile earth, Frigga encouraged him to walk through the gardens and reinvigorate her plants. The gardeners just can’t achieve that loveliness. (This one’s very inspired by one of @raven-brings-light‘s headcanons about Thor.)
And now, for my wildest headcanons. My Frost Giant stan headcanons:
- Odin never told Jotunheim who attacked them using the Bifrost, either because he didn’t see a reason to or because Loki did it. If they discovered one of Odin’s sons did, they’d demand the crown pay.
- Loki uses that fact to his advantage. He’s aware the Frost Giants are a match for the strength of Asgard (they’re a legitimate threat in a fair fight). He goes to their king, one of his brothers, and reveals who he is. In small ways, he helps them rebuild, and earns their trust. He never exposes that he’s currently ruling Asgard, and therefore could give them the Casket at any point. He does all this to facilitate his escape plan should Thor return. He doesn’t want to live in a ruined Realm (hence why he’s fixing it up a bit), but Jotunheim’s a good place to hide from the people who want to see him dead/tortured/imprisoned. If he escapes there, Thor won’t follow. He’d risk war. Loki would grab the Casket on the way out to make extra sure Thor wouldn’t risk it. Thanos’ minions won’t get far facing an army of Frost Giants with ice powers. It’s the safest place for him to hide after Asgard.
- I also love this headcanon because imagine how pissed Thor would be to discover that Loki told his Frost Giant brothers he was alive, but didn’t tell Thor. The amount of trouble Loki would be in for that….
- If he’d had to enact this plan, Loki would have grown depressed, and he would often sneak back into Asgard disguised as another Asgardian or an animal.
Thank you for tagging @foundlingmother ! Great headcanons! I love all of it! Certainly better and makes more sense than what they did in the movie. I totally agree with your headcanons except the one about Frost Giants. As much as I love it and I like to read it in a fic, I think it’s a bit of a strech. I don’t think he’s ready for sth like that or even entertain the idea of contacting Frost Giants. Because I remember his face when he said he is from Jutonheim in TDW. Imo he still doesn’t believe that he belongs anywhere. Not Jutonheim, Not even Asgard. That stupid play kind of hinted it. Blue baby, not Juton baby. Asgard’s savior, not Asgardian. I believe when Thor said “Asgard is not a place, it’s a people” was the moment Loki realized that he belonged in Asgard. I think he just needed to hear it from Thor.
Yes, I agree. They’re very much a stretch. That’s why I set them apart. The other headcanons feel 100% possible, while that one’s more a product of my wishing the Frost Giants could get some love.
I also have a headcanon for how he and Thor approach them post-IW (because everyone lives go away Marvel you’re not welcome anymore). Jotunheim possesses vast untapped resources that could help the Asgardians (and Midgardians) rebuild. Nidavellir does, too, but they’re dealing with a civil war, and the Asgardians have nothing to trade with them. They do, however, have something to trade with/give the Frost Giants. (Not that I think this would be easy–they’d be bargaining with a stolen object, and that would exacerbate the legit animosity that the Frost Giants feel towards the Asgardians.)
This headcanon requires that I also headcanon Loki grabbed the Casket, which I do. I headcanon he grabbed any of the artifacts he could. Seems a waste not to. They’re right there and could be useful.