Your players are faced with an ancient Sumerian curse! However, since the early ancient Sumerian language was only used for recording tax debts, it turns out to actually be an ancient Sumerian bill.
and therefore they need to get hold of some ancient Sumerian coinage and bring it to the ruins of the ancient Sumerian tax office, because the Sumerians had a pleasingly direct way of preventing tax evasion, namely horrifying curses.
well I don’t have any coin but I have these copper ingots, lovely copper ingots, from a very reputable merchant, never heard a word said against him, very thorough with his paperwork, anyway they’re guaranteed pure copper and proper weight, so can I pay my tax with those?
I just want everyone to take a step back for a second and really think about how we’re using the most powerful knowledge tool in history to make jokes about a specific dude who lived almost 4000 years ago.
The version of Thor Ragnarok I really want is where Ragnarok happens and then Odin dies, so Hela comes out of her prison like “can’t wait to recharge my energy on Asgard where the fuck is asgard”, so instead of being the villain of the movie, she’s at best minor antagonist impotently trying to summon enough magic to do any cool shit while Thor forcibly tries sibling bonding because he’s not letting another sibling go down a dark path
“I already went down a dark path, you idiot, I was your father’s executioner, I killed millions”
“yeah but like a darker path. you know. like a recently dark path.”
“you know our new sibling’s mass murder does put my whole “““conquer earth”“““ thing in context don’t you think”
“shut up loki”
“yeah shut up loki you didn’t even succeed”
“hela you know that’s not why we’re mad about loki’s conquering scheme”
“weak lil mischief bro couldn’t even conquer midgard, a planet asgard like already conquered a billion years ago”
“don’t pick on our little brother”
“loki is a punk ass book jockey and I wish I was back in prison”
now, you might think a disagreement of such proportions would send fandom into a tailspin. whom do you believe? MUST WE PICK SIDES? IS THIS WHAT THE PLOT OF CIVIL WAR IS REALLY ABOUT?
luckily, the answer is simple
Steve and Peggy disagree on whether or not oral counts
Ok so we all know that the answer to “Where did Captain America learn to
steal a car?” is “Nazi Germany” but I think the more pressing question
here is when the fuck did this complete maniac get a driver’s license
Because ok, Mighty Mouse 1.0 is too poor to own a car, too short to
reach the pedals, has vision problems, and is a goddamn New Yorker in the motherfucking 1930s, why on earth would he ever have learned to drive?
So this little bastard can’t even tell the gas from the brakes, he gets
all beefified, he goes on tour with the USO. Unless one of the showgirls
coached him through stalling out a car all over some Hollywood back
lot, he still can’t drive. He goes to Europe. At some point, some genius
looks at him and thinks “this strapping specimen of American hunkhood
obviously knows his way around a vehicle, let’s give him a motorcycle,”
and Steve “no parachute” Rogers is like “how hard could this be?” and
promptly wraps himself around approximately eight trees at the same time.
So then he’s kickin’ ass, fightin’ Hydra, and it’s just months of Bucky being like
“give me the goddamn keys, Steven,” and Dum Dum and Morita endlessly
encouraging his fucking insane Fury Road bullshit, like the Howling Commandos just use “grenade” as code for “Rogers” when they’re reporting
why yet another truck has been destroyed beyond recognition. Yes, sir, another grenade, I agree, sir, it’s very odd that we keep losing vehicles in the same way, that’s the third this month alone
So then he’s in the future and SHIELD is sorting his shit out, and
they’re not going to force Captain goddamn America to wait in line at
the DMV, they’re all in complete awe in him and they’ve seen the old
reels of him on his bike, so when they issue him his driver’s license without any type of road test
they go ahead and give him a motorcycle license too
and steve is like …neat.
Ok so then Bucky is back, shit is settled down, everyone’s heading
somewhere and Steve gets in the driver’s seat and Buck’s like WHOA WHOA
WHOA are you people out of your goddamn minds?! Why is Steve driving, is
this some kind of mission, are we heading into a combat zone, is the
plan for the vehicle to get blown up?? GIVE ME THE GODDAMN KEYS STEVEN
And Sam is all “what are you talking about, Steve’s a great driver, I saw him jump his bike over a car once”
And Buck is all “yes but have you seen him use a turn signal?”
And Steve’s like, “Listen, we never needed to ‘signal’ our ‘turns’ in Nazi Germany.”
Numerous Jewish community centers on the east coast received anonymous bomb threats via phone Monday, forcing evacuations and police responses.
Some of the calls were prerecorded while others were live, and likely came from the same telephone number.
NBC reported threats were made to facilities as far apart as New Jersey, Florida, Maryland, Tennessee and South Carolina. In a statement, the Anti-Defamation League said threats were also received in Delaware.
Facilities across the county were evacuated, though authorities did not discover any explosive devices.
Jewish schools in London also received bomb threats, though it was not clear whether the incidents are connected. Read more
Meh, I’ll show support when their community speaks up as a whole, concerning tje wellbeing of Black People.
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FUCKING DO THIS
First of all, reacting to Neo-Nazis attacking another minority group by saying “Yeah, but what have these people done for me? Why should I care about them?” is not only morally shitty on basic human level, but also incredibly dangerous, as such reactions effectively serve to empower white supremacists. Silence and indifference to right-wing violence against a minority group equals tacit support for their actions. You cannot care about bigotry and white nationalism “some of the time” – either you care about it in all forms all the time, or you tacitly support it.
Now, I will not for one second deny that every single community outside of the black community has issues with anti-blackness. There is no disputing that fact, and the Jewish community is no exception to that rule. But, that being said, when compared to other groups throughout our history, Jews in America have had a disproportionately strong turnout when it comes to supporting civil rights efforts. For example:
In 1909, Henry Moscowitz joined W.E.B. DuBois and other civil rights leaders to found the NAACP.
Kivie Kaplan, a vice-chairman of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations (now the Union for Reform Judaism), served as the national president of the NAACP from 1966 to 1975.
Arnie Aronson worked with A. Philip Randolph and Roy Wilkins to found the Southern Leadership Conference.
From 1910 to 1940, more than 2,000 primary and secondary schools and twenty black colleges (including Howard, Dillard and Fisk universities) were established in whole or in part by contributions from Jewish philanthropist Julius Rosenwald.
Jewish activist and songwriter Abel Meeropol wrote “Strange Fruit,” Billie Holiday’s famous anti-racism song about the horrors of lyching.
Jews made up half of the young people who participated in the Mississippi Freedom Summer in 1964, including Michael Schwerner and Andrew Goodman, two Jewish Civil Rights activists, who were murdered alongside their peer James Chaney, in a famous case that came to be known as the “Mississippi Burning” lynching.
Leaders of the Reform Movement were arrested with Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in St. Augustine, Florida, in 1964 after a challenge to racial segregation in public accommodations.
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel marched arm-in-arm with Dr. King in his 1965 March on Selma.
The Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 were drafted in the conference room of Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, under the aegis of the Leadership Conference, which for decades was located in the RAC’s building.
More recently, there have specifically been Jewish marches with/and or in support of BLM, such as these:
Groups like Jews for Racial and Economic Justice and T’ruah: The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights have been outspoken in support for BLM.
There have been nation-wide campaigns to include BLM in our holiday celebrations, such as these:
Personally, my synagogue made a call to action in support of BLM on our two holiest days of year, and read out the name of every black person murdered by police in the past year before we recited an annual prayer regarding how we hope to be sealed in the Book of Life for the coming year, and we also had a program on ending mass incarceration as part of your Yom Kippur services.
Again, I am in no way saying that anti-blackness is not an issue within the Jewish community, because it certainly can be, and these acts do not absolve that in any way, but as a mixed-race person who has spent her entire life attending both Jewish and South Asian cultural events, I can say, unequivocallly, that racial justice has been far more prominent in my Jewish events and activities than my Desi ones by lightyears, yet I’ve never seen anybody say they’ll only care about the racism experienced by South Asians when they “speak up” as a community.
People always have this weird idea that American Jews are really conservative and “don’t do enough for social justice” even though we are basically the founders of American leftism. Weare the second most liberal voting block in the United States after African-Americans and 76% of us voted against Trump.
Again, we are not perfect, and like every other non-black group, we need to hold ourselves accountable and work even harder to eradicate anti-blackness in our ranks, (especially for the sake of black Jews), but to act like the American Jewish community is some conservative monolith that doesn’t ever take any action is not only extremely factually incorrect, but also dangerous. When you believe these lies about Jewish people and single us out for being worse than other minorities, it only emboldens the white supremacists who hate us and makes them stronger, and that’s dangerous for us all.
Stop letting racism by proxy thrive and start learning about how we can all do better at supporting one another to stop white supremacy.