kestrels:

kestrels:

no greek god is inherently and wholly “good” or “bad” because they were all flawed and imperfect in some way with different facets of personality and character to serve as a reflection of society and human nature itself  

oh except for zeus he was a straight up absolute bastard

“That the conception of gods in itself need not lead to the degradation of the imagination that we had to consider briefly [i.e., Christian guilt], that there are nobler uses for the invention of gods than for the self-crucifixion and self-violation of man in which Europe over the past millennia achieved its distinctive mastery—that is fortunately revealed even by a mere glance at the Greek gods, those reflections of noble and autocratic men, in whom the animal in man felt deified and did not lacerate itself, did not rage against itself! For the longest time these Greeks used their gods precisely so as to ward off the ‘bad conscience,’ so as to be able to rejoice in their freedom of soul—the very opposite of the use to which Christianity put its God. They went very far in this direction, these splendid and lionhearted children; and no less an authority than the Homeric Zeus himself occasionally gives them to understand that they are making things too easy for themselves. ‘Strange!’ he says once—the case is that of Aegisthus, a very bad case—

“Strange how these mortals so loudly complain of the gods!
We alone produce evil, they say; yet themselves
Make themselves wretched through folly, even counter to fate.

“Yet one can see and hear how even this Olympian spectator and judge is far from holding a grudge against them or thinking ill of them on that account: ‘how foolish they are!’ he thinks when he observes the misdeeds of mortals—and ‘foolishness,’ ‘folly,’ a little ‘disturbance in the head,’ this much even the Greeks of the strongest, bravest age conceded of themselves as the reason for much that was bad and calamitous—foolishness, not sin! do you grasp that?

“Even this disturbance in the head, however, presented a problem: ‘how is it possible? how could it actually have happened to heads such as we have, we men of aristocratic descent, of the best society, happy, well-constituted, noble, and virtuous?’—thus noble Greeks asked themselves for centuries in the face of every incomprehensible atrocity or wantonness with which one of their kind had polluted himself. ‘He must have been deluded by a god,’ they concluded finally, shaking their heads. This expedient is typical of the Greeks. In this way the gods served in those days to justify man to a certain extent even in his wickedness, they served as the originators of evil—in those days they took upon themselves, not the punishment but, what is nobler, the guilt.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morality, Essay II, section 23, translated by Walter Kaufmann.

teashoesandhair:

diananovak:

moonlitskinwalker:

littlegreenplasticsoldier:

mythicalmodernity:

wtfzeus:

baby-fireworks:

teashoesandhair:

morietris:

teashoesandhair:

teashoesandhair:

alianoram:

teashoesandhair:

alianoram:

teashoesandhair:

teashoesandhair:

i-can-do-tricks:

teashoesandhair:

teashoesandhair:

teashoesandhair:

angelicfangirl:

teashoesandhair:

teashoesandhair:

dasfeministmermaid:

teashoesandhair:

A sitcom about the modern Greek gods where everyone is wildly miscast

Zeus is played by Michael Cera

😂😂😂😂 Hephaestus is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

@seerofbirds has cast Danny DeVito as Aphrodite and @qrowxiii has cast Eddie Murphy as Ares, so this is shaping up to be a pretty great TV pitch and if anyone from Hollywood is reading this, could you also consider casting Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson as Hermes and Christopher Walken as Apollo, thanks.

Hera is Oscar Isaac because are you really going to cheat on Oscar Isaac, Michael Cera? Really? You’d do that? You’d look at that man’s face and chase tail somewhere else, Michael Cera, you sack of shit?

I’m dying this is fantastic I NEED THE WHOLE CAST

Hades is Whoopi Goldberg and Persephone is Jeff Goldblum and Demeter is Julie Andrews. Their interplay makes up 70% of the film and is all improvised.

Athena is played by Amy Schumer (thanks anon!) and she defeats her enemies by being incredibly loud and annoying and plagiarising all their tactics and eventually they just give up in irritation. She only has 3 minutes of screen time and no dialogue. Thank fuck.

Heracles is played by Jesse Eisenberg because Michael Cera got to be Zeus. Sometimes they swap roles. No-one notices.

Poseidon is played by Daniel Craig but his only scene is when he reenacts the famous Bond scene with speedos.

Artemis is played by Robert Pattinson and all his lines are just slightly amended from Twilight. Dionysus is played by Helen Mirren. It is perhaps the only apt casting in the film.

To clarify, Hestia is absolutely played by Charles Dance, whose costume includes an apron which gets progressively dirtier throughout the series.

In the sitcom, which precedes the feature film and which focuses on certain myths every episode, Narcissus is played by John Goodman. Echo is played by Billy Crystal. 

Other episodes include the story of Eros and Psyche, played respectively by Jane Fonda and Shirley MacLaine, the story of Daedalus and Icarus, played respectively by Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern, and the story of Zeus overthrowing Cronus, in which Michael Cera as Zeus must defeat Cronus, as played by John Cena, in a battle of wits and muscle. Astonishingly, he wins.

this is all very good gud

but who is perseus and medusa? jason , Midas, circe, media, please I NEED TO KNOW

These are very important questions and I will answer them immediately.

Perseus and Medusa are played by Andy Samberg and Glenn Howerton. All their scenes together are just them one upping each other with improvised insults.

Jason and Medea are played by John Boyega and Meryl Streep, and all their scenes are so beautifully acted that they both get nominated for Oscars, despite the fact that one of Jason’s lines is “are you trying to fleece me out of the golden fleece?”, to which Medea replies “me, fleece you? Oh no, me dear.”

Midas is played by Steve Buscemi, obviously. For no discernible reason, everything he touches does not turn to gold, but copper alloy. This is possibly due to budget cuts. Due to their on screen chemistry, he bizarrely has several buddy cop style scenes with Jeff Goldblum’s Persephone.

Circe does not appear. If she did, she would be played by Audrey Hepburn, using that creepy CGI from the Galaxy adverts, but her estate refuse to give their permission.

Important updates:

(Anonymous suggests: Kelsey Asbille Chow playing Achilles, Michelle Obama is Thetis, Danny Trejo as Helen, Terry Crewes as Paris, and Adrien Brody as Hector. olvmpos says: Ganymede is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and regularly benchpresses Michael Cera.)

Hey @teashoesandhair I’m not saying that I felt inspired and sketched Whoopi Goldberg and Jeff Goldblum as Hades and Persephone but that’s exactly what I’m saying

OH GOD THIS IS PERFECTION. THANK YOU. JUST THANK YOU. PHENOMENAL.

YOU’RE WELCOME BUT ALSO PLEASE HELP COS I CAN’T STOP

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE POSTER FOR THE SERIES, YOU HEAR ME

I’m mad that people are just reblogging the first post here because YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON THE MOST INCREDIBLE ARTWORK YOU’LL EVER SEE

Okay, I gotta ask, who’s the Hyacinthus to Christopher Walken’s Apollo?

I can already hear Apollo’s relevant lines in Walken’s distinct cadence, but I wanna know who he’s cradling, devastated, while crying out in anguish and also pausing at all the wrong places.

What a great question, and it brings me absolute joy to reveal to you that it’s Jackie Chan. He does all his own stunts. There is only one stunt, and it’s him collapsing into Christopher Walken’s arms. For some reason, there are explosions.

@wtfzeus

Oh my god 🤣

@roulette-kneebasha

I’m meant to be tagging someone I know it

@poemwriter98

Why is this on my feed?

Well, you see, someone you follow reblogged it