2, 10~

Finally getting around to answering the writing meme questions. Thanks for asking and sorry for the delay… my travel connections yesterday were a lot tighter than I was anticipating.

2. Favorite piece overall?

Hmm… I think The Tree of Knowledge is probably the best-written, but The Abyss Gazes Also has a special place in my heart because it’s still the longest thing I’ve ever written, including my dissertation. It has been a labor of love, pain, and trying to get some people to fucking read it instead of complaining on Tumblr about how there’s no fanfic about what happened to Loki during the year between Thor and The Avengers, no fic about what happened between him and Thanos, no fic where Loki does cool stuff and uses his powers…

10. Favorite line or lines of dialogue that you’ve written

Since “lines” is an option, I’m going to be self-indulgent and pick several.

From my first fic, The Third Time, Loki talking to Thor: “You want to know where it all went wrong before you lose the chance forever. And you want to know whom you’ll be mourning when I’m gone. So here’s your answer: it was all me—all the lies, the schemes, the illusions. I don’t believe in souls, and I don’t believe in true selves. My brain is a bag full of cats, remember? Well, it’s cats all the way down.”

From “Abyss,” Thanos to Loki: “You still fear madness. You think it a dangerous weakness. But I will show you: madness is strength. It is a danger to others, yes, but not to you. It is your safety. It is your only safety.”

And then a really long one from Starting Over, my fantasy Thorki version of Thor and Loki’s reunion after TDW (which is, in my humble estimation, better written than Ragnarok), Loki ranting to Thor about Odin:

“Let me enumerate his sins. He lied to me all my life about who and what I am. He could have told me at any point during my childhood—he could have explained to me why I was so often ill as a child, why I could never bear the heat, why things frosted over when I was angry or afraid. But instead he let me find out under the worst possible circumstances—when I was fighting for my life against them, fighting for our lives—that I am the kin of our most hated enemies, a creature that I had always been taught to regard as savage, vicious, cowardly, scarcely better than a beast. He claimed that he never told me ‘because he wanted to protect me from the truth,’ ‘because he never wanted me to feel different.’ Well, he failed spectacularly at that, didn’t he? And then he conveniently fell asleep when I needed him most, leaving me with a weight of responsibility that would have been difficult enough to bear even if I hadn’t just had my entire sense of my identity shattered, but since I had… well.”

Loki paused his tirade, apparently just for breath, but Thor still took the opportunity to try to calm him down. “Loki, please…”

“Oh, but I’m not finished yet!” Loki stood up from the throne and began walking toward Thor, slowly and inexorably, taking a turn at driving him back. “When he did finally wake to see how well the little Jötun foundling had ruled in his absence—which is to say, when he woke to find me suspended over an abyss, in the physical as well as every other sense—all he could think to say to me was ‘No.’ And then, when I returned after a year in the Void, having miraculously survived the suicide that he drove me to, did he ask me why I tried to invade Midgard? Did he ask me what had befallen me during the year I spent Urðr-knows-where? Of course not; he simply assumed I am as power-mad as the father he stole me from—as power-mad as the father who raised me—and threw me away, left me to die forgotten in the dungeons to hide his shame, the shame that he could not civilize the monster after all.”

Thor’s heart seemed to twist in his chest; this was what Loki thought of their father? Thor could hardly find it in himself to defend him, but still he felt obligated to make the attempt: “Loki, I’m sure that’s not what he…”

“And you still think two years’ exile in Midgard is enough? I suppose it must be, if three days was punishment enough for nearly starting a war…”

“Loki, listen to me, please,” Thor tried again; his attempts to rein in his brother’s mounting anger were growing increasingly desperate.

But Loki did not want to listen. “He never asked!” he repeated, his face contorted with rage and pain. “He never asked what happened to me, why I did what I did. ‘All this because Loki desired a throne’—that was all he needed to know. Did it never occur to him to ask why that throne? Did he never wonder why the boy who fell was not the man who returned? Was it what he’d expected from me all along? Why did he never ask?”

5 and 13? :D

 5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

I have two partly posted WIPs that I desperately need to finish; hard to say which one is first on my list. The Abyss Gazes Also has been going since October 2015 (it says posted July 2016, but that’s just when I added the prologue that registers as Chapter 1) and it would probably be good to finish it before Infinity War comes out, considering that it will probably clarify what the relationship between Loki and Thanos was in a way that’s incompatible with what I’ve written. (I was afraid Ragnarok would do that, but so far I’m in the clear.) Here’s an excerpt from the next chapter, which I just started working on:

Getting everyone back onto the Quinjet after this
family quarrel was something of a complicated affair. Fortunately for all of us, Thor and Rogers
had inadvertently cleared an area large enough for the Quinjet to land. The difficulty was that I was still on the
crag above where there was certainly nowhere for the Quinjet to land, and they
needed to find a way to bring me down to the clearing below.

Thor volunteered, of course, but
Stark was having none of it. “How do we
know you won’t just take him and fuck off back to Asgard?”

“I give you my word that I will
return Loki to your custody.”

“Your word? You just dropped in
from the sky, I don’t know you from Adam, and I’m supposed to take your word for it that you won’t abscond with
our mass-murdering psychopath.”

Thor was confused. “Who is Adam?”

And the other one that desperately needs finishing is First Things, an entry that I stuck into the middle of my Thorki series because someone asked for it. It was supposed to be short and easy to write, but it’s kind of gotten out of hand, and then of course I was delayed by my dissertation submission deadline, job applications, etc. Here’s an excerpt from the next chapter of that; the background is that Loki has challenged Thor to a quarterstaff match, and the loser has to wear a butt plug to the next High Council meeting. (This is some high literature here, folks.)

The brothers were well-matched
in this kind of contest: they were very nearly the same height, with a similar
reach; and while Thor could put more power into his swings and keep up such
effort for longer, Loki was quicker at dodging blows and darting in for
targeted strikes. But the advantage Loki
had in this instance was a mighty determination to win this wager, which he had
reason to suspect Thor lacked.

If Thor was deliberately
letting Loki win, he was at least gracious enough not to be too obvious about
it; he made Loki work even for what might have been a foreordained
victory. An audience gathered to watch
the princes match their considerable skills, both soldiers who wandered over
from adjacent practice courts and nobles (many of them ladies, Loki noted out
of the corner of his eye) who had been passing by when they saw the cluster of
soldiers ringing the one court and came over to see what they were all so
attentively watching. Perhaps some of
the soldiers or nobles had also sent quick messages to summon friends who might
not wish to miss such a match.

When Loki was, at last, the first to disarm Thor
and level the end of his staff at his chest, he thought the murmur that rose
from the crowd sounded mostly disappointed—though some genuinely enthusiastic
cheers also emerged from the hubbub (notably from a certain subset of the
ladies). When Thor smiled wickedly at
him and proposed, “Best out of three?”, the much louder cheer from their
audience told Loki that he could hardly say no.
He lowered his staff and leaned a little closer to mutter “Cheater” loud
enough for only Thor to hear even while nodding for the benefit of the
crowd. “Just taking a leaf from your
book,” Thor murmured back. Resentment
flared briefly in Loki’s stomach at the accusation, even though he knew Thor
had a point.

13. Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic?

Nope. I can’t draw, can’t gif, can’t edit videos, and I’m pretty sure no one wants to hear me read my fic out loud. Just fanfic for me.

Thanks for the questions! And here’s the list again, in case anyone is curious…