Idk Clarice, maybe we’re just tired, and life is uncertain, and we like the idea of a stable husband with a steady job and a big dog and his own place away from all the loud, shapeshifting-kink party gods.
I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.
Say what you want about Baldr. I do, anyway. But even someone as universally beloved as I am sees that if all your friends and family can’t imagine greater pleasure than throwing, swinging and shooting deadly weapons at you for months on end – maybe you did something to cause some slight frustration. (This is how far my funeral speech for Baldr went before Frigga threw a horn of mead at me.)
thanos: the universe has a finite amount of resources, so i’ve decided to assemble a reality altering gauntlet and use that to eliminate half of all life forms, thus ensuring the remaining life forms can live in peaceful worlds of plenty.
anyone else: why don’t you just use that gauntlet to create more resources
thanos:
They should’ve just had him be in love with Death. They could have repurposed Hela! Waste of a fucking obvious opportunity.
being gay before the invention of lube must have been a pain in the ass
according to my history professor this is actually a huge contributing factor to the popularity of olive oil in Ancient Greece
this is the best possible thing that i will ever learn and i thank you for that
The people of Ancient Greece loved that ancient grease
I am begrudgingly reblogging this for the first time in like four urls for this, the first comment on this post to actually make me laugh in literally years
There’s a quote in a letter from some poor Roman stationed out in like, fucking Ukraine, basically saying it’s the worst place to live in the entire world because they grow neither olives nor grapes.
Loki is the Philosopher King 