Peter Parker releases a thirty minute documentary on youtube of life in the Avengers Tower and twelve minutes of it is just Tony and Steve arguing over what would win, a Thanos-sized tarantula or a tarantula-sized Thanos
Clint yells the floor is lava as he’s hanging from the vents, recording the chaos
Natasha immediately backflips onto the couch and settles down to watch tv
Thor is shouting because he doesn’t see any lava how does he participate in these festives hawk?!
Steve is standing completely still in confusion
Bruce climbs up onto the coffee table carefully, drinking his tea and looking like it’s totally normal to stand on a coffee table
Tony busts into laughter as the suit assembles around him and he goes to drag Clint out of the vents and drop him onto the floor
Clint starts screaming and climbs Steve, who stands there and lets it happen because jfc these people
Coulson calmly walks in from the elevator and parkours his way over to Tony to drop off paperwork and is gone instantly
Pepper drops by and a walkway pops up from the ground so she can come by and tell tony that he’s going to be late for another gala and her heels click on the way out
Bucky leaps into the air, grabs Steve around the waist and flings them both onto the other couch because Jesus Christ, Stevie, he’s a brainwashed assassin and even he knows not to walk on the floor when it’s lava.
Sam just pops out his wings and hangs out near the ceiling.
T’Challa is just chillin’ while hanging by his claws like the cat that stuck to the rafters after getting thrown there
Don’t forget Peter Parker who instantly webs himself a hammock and hangs from the ceiling watching everyone else scramble
Loki comes in and he vanishes all the the furniture from the game just to watch chaos
Bruce: When I moved in, he insisted on funding all of my research. Except, you know, ever since The Incident, all my work’s been theoretical. It’s not actually that expensive. I’ve started just spending all the extra on fruit pies, just to see if he was keeping track. He isn’t. There are a lot of unused rooms in this building, and at least three of them are stacked floor to ceiling with fruit pies. He hasn’t said a word.
Natasha: It turned out Pepper and I both speak French. Tony doesn’t. Now, whenever he walks in, we just start whispering in French and giggling. Half the time we’re just exchanging recipes. He pretends not to be eavesdropping, but the other day I caught him asking JARVIS what ‘des oeufs’ meant.
Clint: I bought this big bag of little plastic flies, right? And whenever he’s not paying attention, I throw them into his drink. Half the time he doesn’t even notice and just drinks the damn things, but the other half? He starts checking all the house filtration systems, the exterminators, the works. He can’t figure out where all these flies are coming from. He’s fumigated three times in the last month.
Thor: I attempted to provide assistance with a project, but Stark assured me that it was ‘very technical’, and that I would not understand the intricacies. I can see why he would think so, as I am a mere Prince of Asgard, taught such basic engineering when I was a child and his ancestors could not yet walk. It has been five weeks, and he still has not corrected the misaligned condenser coil causing the problem.
Steve: I don’t know what Howard taught that kid, but he seems to be under the impression that homosexuality was invented in 2000. He keeps leaving magazines and pictures lying around like the sight of two men holding hands is going to give me a heart attack. I don’t have the heart to tell him about the Greeks.
Interviewer: So how are things in Avengers Tower?
Tony: How are things? I have no idea. I really don’t. There’s some kind of insect infestation in the vents and I think a spy is trying to seduce my girlfriend into moving to France. I tried to prank Captain America with gay porn, but him and Thor just started trying to reverse-engineer workout routines. The other day I went into one of the spare rooms, and I found some kind of one-armed sex hobo sitting on a throne of empty fruit pie boxes. I just walked out and closed the door. I don’t even wanna know.
Okay but what if Peter and Shuri are at the Avengers Compund and Peter asks Shuri if she wants to watch a movie with him in the screening room and she says yes. So they go in and Peter turns on Star Wars and half way through the movie he jokingly says how she should make real life SW tech. She tells him to pause the movie and she walks out of the room and comes back 10 minutes later and is like “I made these when I was 11!” And pulls out 2 functioning lightsabers and hands one to Peter, who is in shock and they start running around the compound fighting with lightsabers. T’Challa is annoyed because he told Shuri to leave them at home and Tony doesn’t know if he should be impressed bc Shuri made actual lightsabers or worried that two 16 year olds are running around using ACTUAL lightsabers.
Loki is the Philosopher King 