Okay this has popped up on my dash again and I resisted the urge the first few times but now I can’t.
In college I was friends with a bunch of exchange students and went to a party off campus with them. After a couple hours the owners of the apartment called it a night but my friends wanted to continue to hang out. One of the other exchange students volunteered his place. Only problem was there were 10 of us and our only ride was a honda civic.
So we had a 6 foot tall Swedish dude with two Japanese girls on his lap in the front passenger seat, three Saudi students and me sitting in the back seat with two Thai students sitting on our laps and a Mexican-American woman driving.
I being paranoid asked, “What do we do if we get pulled over?”
The driver tries to look at me, “Do you speak another language or can you fake Swedish?”
“No, but I know ASL.”
She nodded, “Okay so the plan is if we get in trouble, no one speaks English and you’re Deaf.”
That was our plan guys.
This is the best comment I’ve ever had on this post.
Natasha Romanoff was twisted, abused, undone, and lived a very brutal, very savage life. She was a monster.
She looked at that, she looked at what she was.
And it turned her into a person who makes dumb jokes about Steve being a fossil. Someone who is constantly trying to get her 90 year old friend a date. Someone who tirelessly works to make up for every debt she owes. Someone who always tells people that it’s not their fault when bad things happen. Someone who actively puts herself in harm’s way armed with nothing but a jumpsuit and a gun in order to protect innocent people while giant green rage monsters and demigods and super-soldiers surround her.
My headcanon is that there was no Budapest mission. Clint has a spectacularly bad sense of direction and Nat had a head injury and to this day no one’s entirely sure where Black Widow and Hawkeye were for those two weeks but they came back with three gunshot wounds, one broken leg, two dislocated shoulders, one horrible haircut and a duffel bag full of bootleg whiskey.
Here we go, this is the Black Widow/Hawkeye movie we’ve been waiting for. Marvel, make it happen.
Head canon that whenever Natasha is asked sexist questions by the media, the boys just keep going to increasingly ridiculous lengths to get there and answer the question instead.
Reporter: Do you ever feel resentment for this job reducing the possibility of having a family? Bruce, strolling by: I don’t know, I never really thought about having a family to begin with. I prefer spending my time in the company of friends.
Reporter: Do you feel like you have to be super girly to stand out or super masculine to fit in with all the men? Steve, jumping over from his own group of reporters: See, that’s what I love about the 21st century. Lots of room for gender expression however you want. *pointed Disappointed Captain Look*
Reporter: Do you think your emotions ever get the best of you on the field? Thor, landing with Mjolnir: I have spent many years learning to control my pride on the battlefield and not lose my head during a fight. I thank my shield brothers and sister for helping me.
Reporter: How do you come out of a fight looking so fabulous? Tony, flying in on a private helicopter probably: It’s just genetics, dear. I always look fabulous. I looked fabulous while dying.
Reporter: What kind of product do you use in your hair? Bucky, ziplining in from the next building over: L’oreal. *hands out the expertly photoshopped ad Darcy made of him in a L’oreal ad*
Reporter: What kind of diet do you use to stay in shape? Clint, leaping out of an air vent: You know, I’ve been thinking of trying paleo, but this is all natural. Pizza for days, baby. Keeping aliens from destroying the world tends to burn a few calories.
I’d like to think Tony genuinely thought the question was for him. Furthermore, I would like to imagine that at this point Bucky is not an official Avenger, so from the reporter’s perspective, the Winter Soldier just showed up, answered a question about hair that wasn’t directed at him, handed out pictures, and then left.
Loki is the Philosopher King 