Tag: avengers headcanons

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

I wonder if Thor’s Allspeak extends to animals

Bee: *is present*

Thor, turning to Tony: He says this stupid damn city needs more flowers and pollen-bearing plants because you’re making him have to work a 16-hour shift every day just to feed his wife and kids

Tony: What the fuck Thor we’ve talked about this

Dog: *Bark bark bark*

Thor, sternly: No, Captain America’s pants are not fit for consumption

Steve, with no idea that Thor can speak dog: ???!?!????!!!??

Fly: *hums*

Thor, leaping from his chair: Oh what the FUCK did you say about my hair?? Oh you want to fuckign go do you?? Is that what you fucking want??? Well Step the FUCK UP then you stupid ass buzzy BITCH *summons lightning*

DUM-E: *Beep boops*

Thor, patting Tony on the back: well done my friend

Tony: For what?

Thor: Your robot is telling me all about how well his dad oiled up his joints this morning and keeps saying ‘I love him’ on repeat. He has been doing this for an hour.

Tony, immediately tearing up: oh my fucking god Thor

📂

portraitoftheoddity:

Steve is a terrible cook. He grew up on Depression-era “throw together whatever has calories” cooking, and frequently HORRIFIES the other Avengers with the “sandwiches” he puts together when he’s hungry. He’s officially banned from cooking team dinners after the potato-peel sandwich incident. 

inubz101:

xtaticpearl:

knightinironarmor:

tony at the end of every avengers mission talking to thor and steve all heart-eyes like “thor??? you’re staying right???? captain??? you’re also staying???? i’ll throw us a party. you’re staying right??? you’re staying. are you staying??? you should stay. right??? that seems like a good idea so you’re staying aren’t you???”

tony @ bruce like “literally come live with me i have ten floors of pure science to share and”

tony @ clint like “i already took care of your entire medical treatment and i called in a doctor straight from korea and also drink this green smoothie. my bots made it but i picked this lidded cup and straw personally”

tony @ natasha like “[blasting AC/DC] hello base this is Shellhead ™ did you miss me. over. no nat i do NOT sound like i’ve been crying i’m actually always Fine”

help me tony loves them

Tony @ Nick Fury “I don’t want to join you boy band but I have an entire tower ready for them and I’m building you better tech to see monitors without turning or hurting your eye and I am not emotional Nick, stop it, I just (clenched fist) am happy that you’re not dead and I did NOT call my teammates my friends or hate myself because I saw all of them dead and myself alive.”

Tony @ Sam “You don’t have to trust me or like me but here you go, have a pet drone that matches your skill and will act as your AI”

Tony @ Maria Hill “Oh okay you don’t like me but please work with me, and come to my party, Maria stay back for the afterparty and relax but don’t call me boss, that’s Steve, please call him boss, I’m not your boss.”

Tony @ Peter Parker “I’m not your dad and you’re definitely not my kid, but I’m building you all this suit with over 300 web combinations and your own ai. I’m not checking up on you ever five minutes that’s what Happy’s for, No Rhodey I’m not listening to all of his voice messages fuck off!”

mamalaz:

shieldposts:

I bet there are labels like this all over Avengers tower

Okay, but now I am imagining Steve figuring out how to use a printer just so he can put labels all over the tower:

Outside the air ducts: “No Climbing Inside. I’m looking at you, Barton.”

Inside the air ducts. “Clint, I’m very disappointed in you.”

By the coffee machine: “Coffee isn’t a food group, Stark. Eat a sandwich.”