A professor who taught me when I was an undergrad and who is now at another university and running the search for a postdoc there (let’s call him W) e-mailed me this afternoon to tell me that he’d given the postdoc to another candidate, whom we’ll call B. I actually already knew that, because B (who is my age) is dating a professor in my department, H, and he told me when I saw him at the department on Tuesday and he asked about my job situation. Incidentally, W was dissertation advisor both to H and to B’s dissertation advisor, C; H and C were in grad school at the same time (and are kind of frenemies… or rather, H is jealous of C’s professional success). So H is kind of dating his intellectual niece. And they work in the same subject area. Which just kinda strikes me as a little off… but whatever. Academia is full of incest.

Anyway, the point was that W sent me the following e-mail:

This message is to deliver the news that the [name of fellowship] Postdoctoral Fellow for next year will be [B].

This was a very difficult decision for me to make, and in no aspect was it more difficult than that I won’t be able to offer the postdoc to you. I have several other highly deserving finalists to whom to deliver this same news, but I am telling you first in order to get over with the message that will be the most painful one for me to write.

Whenever I do these searches, and become aware of the highly qualified people who don’t yet have jobs, it makes me sad and angry and makes me wish I had more of these postdocs than just the one. If by any chance you do get a job, please tell me. And if you can think of any way I can help, please get in touch right away.

Which is very nice and all, but… if it was that hard for you, you could have just given me the fucking job.