“Loki is often the voice of reason to Thor’s impulsiveness and is usually relied on to talk his older brother out of sticky situation. ”
“As Odin’s younger son, Loki has always known the throne of Asgard will never belong to him. He has, however, tried his best to be a good brother to Thor and a son Odin could be proud of.”
BONUS:
Interesting.
Teleport is canon!
This irritates me…… a lot.
He can teleport.
Why the hell wasn’t this used in any of the other movies?
This is so important.
The argument could be made that he did teleport in the first Avengers. Loki cast an illusion of himself/became invisible and teleported behind Coulson to stab him with his staff.
Also he may have teleported himself into the room Thor was being kept in by S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first Thor movie and we just didn’t get to see it.
Honestly, I just ignore the teleportation thing in my fic writing. There’s a lot of stuff in canon that wouldn’t make sense if he could teleport.
The fact that Loki can teleport makes a LOT of canon stuff make no sense. The first 5 minutes of Infinity War especially.
Loki’s teleporting is definitely worth discussing, but can we talk about what they listed as Frigga’s “abilities”? Like … what even lol.
I should clarify: by “canon” (involving Loki) I mean Thor (2011), The Avengers (2012), and Thor: The Dark World (2013).
Yeah, they kind of forgot about Frigga’s illusion magic and swordfighting skills… or maybe they didn’t decide to put those in until TDW.
Re: @angryowlet‘s speculation, I don’t think any teleportation was involved in killing Coulson. I think Loki made two illusory copies of himself: one to lure Thor into the cage, and one to taunt Thor while the actual Loki was off retrieving the scepter.
The main reason I think teleportation would mess with canon logic is that Thor probably would have known that Loki could teleport, and that would be an extremely clear indication that he had gotten himself captured on purpose in The Avengers. He also could have teleported away to keep himself from being apprehended and imprisoned at the end, though I suppose he might have had reasons to want to place himself under Asgardian protection. Also (and this is mostly kind of silly), he wouldn’t have needed to ride a horse from the palace to the Bifrost observatory toward the end of Thor.
another weird thing about beer is that it has weird masculinity connections to it. “ya i’ll get a beer, i don’t want none of them girly drinks” Jimothy, you’re drinking wheat juice with a 5% alcohol content and my mixed, fruity, “girly” drink is 40% alcohol and tastes great
O.KAY *CRACKS KNUCKLES* I AM ABOUT TO GIVE YOU AN EDUCATION
BEER IS TRADITIONALLY A WOMAN’S DRINK, IT IS THE MOST FEMALE OF ALL OF THE DRINKS. FOR THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS, BEER WAS MADE AT HOME BY WOMEN, TO BE CONSUMED BY WOMEN AND CHILDREN–IT WAS ACTUALLY A SOURCE OF NUTRIENTS FOR MANY HOUSEHOLDS. WOMEN CREATED THE CRAFT OF BEER, AND FOR MOST OF HUMAN HISTORY THAT IS WHO YOU’D BUY IT FROM: MANY WOMEN MADE ADDITIONAL INCOME BY BREWING AND SELLING BEER FROM HOME. IT WASN’T UNTIL THE ERA OF INDUSTRIALIZATION THAT BEER BEGAN TO BE BREWED IN FACTORIES. AND ONCE BEER WAS BEING BREWED ON A LARGE SCALE, IT MADE TO START MARKETING IT TO ALL THE MALE FACTORY WORKERS WHO SUDDENLY HAD EXTRA INCOME. HENCE AN AGGRESSIVE MARKETING CAMPAIGN TO RE-BRAND BEER, A DRINK INTRINSICALLY TIED WITH WOMEN’S HISTORY, AS A ‘MASCULINE’ BEVERAGE.
EVEN BETTER, FEMALE BREWSTERS WERE THE ORIGINAL WICKED OLD WITCH. THE TROPES WE COMMONLY ASSOCIATE WITH STEREOTYPICAL WITCHES ARE ACTUALLY BASED ON THE TRADITIONAL BREWSTER. CAULDRONS & HOT STEAMING POTIONS = BEER BREWING. THE WITCH’S HAT: BELIEVE IT OR NOT POINTY HATS WERE ACTUALLY WORN BY BREWSTERS WHEN SELLING THEIR PRODUCT AT MARKETS: THE ENORMOUS HEADGEAR HELPED THEM STAND OUT, AND CLEARLY TOLD EVERYONE ‘YO MOTHERFUCKA GET YOUR BEER HERE’.
CATS AS FAMILIARS: CATS WERE COMMONLY USED TO PREVENT RODENTS FROM GETTING INTO THE WHEAT. EVEN THE BROOMSTICK IS RELATED TO BEER: A BUNDLE OF TWIGS RESEMBLING A BROOM WAS USED AS AD FOR ALEHOUSES
so basically, beer is the ultimate woman’s and witch’s drink
REBLOG ME
fuck u guys, i didn’t spend 20 min fact checking for 3 notes
ok right links fine
i was probably drunk when i wrote this. best i can remember:
all these whiny bastards complaining about my taste in caps lock. I rewrote it for you:
*Sighs heavily and re-cracks knuckles*
Beer is traditionally a woman’s drink, it is the most female of all of The Drinks. For thousands of years, beer was made at home by women, to be consumed by women and children—it was actually a source of nutrients for many households. Women created the craft of beer, and for most of human history that is who you’d buy it from: many women made additional income by brewing and selling beer from home. It wasn’t until the era of industrialization that beer began to be brewed in factories. And once beer was being brewed on a large scale, it made sense to start marketing it to all the male factory workers who suddenly had extra income. Hence an aggressive marketing campaign to re-brand beer, a drink intrinsically tied with women’s history, as a ‘masculine’ beverage.
final bit:
Even better, female brewters were the original wicked old witch. The tropes we commonly associate with stereotypical witches are actually based on the traditional brewster. Cauldrons & hot steaming potions = beer brewing. The witch’s hat: believe it or not pointy hats were actually worn by brewsters when selling their product at markets: the enormous headgear helped them stand out, and clearly told everyone ‘yo motherfucka get your beer here’.
Cats as familiars: cats were commonly used to prevent rodents from getting into the wheat. Even the broomstick is related to beer: a bundle of twigs resembling a broom was used as advertising for alehouses.
so yeah, beer = witch’s brew. other things to check out:
Fermented low-alcohol beverages being the prime source of safe drinking water, for the whole family, for much of human history.
Beer, women, and the invention of the drinking straw (trivia, the oldest known straw is Sumerian, 5000 years old, made of gold and lapis lazuli. )
Monks horning in on the female-dominated brewing economy, the medieval church persecuting female brewsters
Monks adding hops (and making beer gross) in order to lower their libido (and to avoid the temptation of gay sex)
Dionysus, god of winemaking, and his raving, drunken madwomen followers, the Maenads.
Or any of a long list of goddesses associated w/ beer. Tenenet, the ancient egyptian goddess of childbearing & beer brewing. The earliest beer recipe, found in a 3900 year old poem honoring Ninkasi, patron goddess of brewing
And that’s all for now folks. Happy drinking’
no one ever reblogs this version and i wish they would
This gives the expression “witches’ brew” a very different significance.
“Loki is often the voice of reason to Thor’s impulsiveness and is usually relied on to talk his older brother out of sticky situation. ”
“As Odin’s younger son, Loki has always known the throne of Asgard will never belong to him. He has, however, tried his best to be a good brother to Thor and a son Odin could be proud of.”
BONUS:
Interesting.
Teleport is canon!
This irritates me…… a lot.
He can teleport.
Why the hell wasn’t this used in any of the other movies?
This is so important.
The argument could be made that he did teleport in the first Avengers. Loki cast an illusion of himself/became invisible and teleported behind Coulson to stab him with his staff.
Also he may have teleported himself into the room Thor was being kept in by S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first Thor movie and we just didn’t get to see it.
Honestly, I just ignore the teleportation thing in my fic writing. There’s a lot of stuff in canon that wouldn’t make sense if he could teleport.
Loki is the Philosopher King 