In case you were wondering why I’ve been so bad about reading and/or writing fic lately, and instead have mostly been reblogging shitposts and liveblogging my rewatch of “Buffy” and “Angel,” with some occasional MCU-directed salt mixed in (and now Tumblr-directed salt; I started writing this post before the apocalypse), it’s because I am So Done with Marvel.

I no longer accept either Ragnarok or Infinity War as canon. I will not read fics that take them as canon – not even fix-it fics. (Or your super-dark rage fics, @illwynd. Do-overs are fair game, though, so @foundlingmother is in luck.) I regret that I wrote a few fics assuming Ragnarok as canon, before I realized what a horror show it is.

My imagination is firmly ensconced in my alternate universe in which Guillermo del Toro wrote and directed Ragnarok and Joss Whedon wrote and directed Infinity War (and its sequel/second part, as needed). Maybe Guillermo recast Charlie Hunnam as Thor once Hemsworth decided he was tired of pretending to be a dramatic actor, or maybe Hunnam was cast as Thor from the outset. (Part of the reason that Hemsworth was cast is that Whedon put in a good word for him, having worked with him on The Cabin in the Woods. Even the best creators make mistakes; Michelle Trachtenberg wasn’t great as Dawn, either.) I’m not sure who wrote Civil War, but it wasn’t those dimwitted hacks Markus and McFeely. Maybe it was Jed Whedon and Maurissa Tancharoen; they did a good job dealing with the moral quandaries of the Accords on “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Or hell, maybe it was Aaron Sorkin. This is my fantasy world. Go big or go home, amirite?

I’m not going to try to write any of these versions because I’m not Guillermo del Toro, Joss or Jed Whedon, or Aaron Sorkin. I have only very vague ideas of what these movies would be like. Maybe I’ve frozen time at the point where all of the writers/directors have been announced but the movies haven’t come out. Maybe we have some stills. Hela actually has half a face and it looks awesome. Loki and Thanos have some meaningful interactions. Josh Brolin is very excited about all of their scenes and the fraught history revealed between them.

I’m not sure what stage of grief this is. The obvious choice would be Denial, but I think Denial was actually before I figured out just how terrible TR was (and was still writing fics acknowledging it). I’ve definitely been in Anger for most of the time since then, so I guess this must be some weird form of Bargaining? Like, in my mind I’m trying to trade the canon we have for the canon we should have had.