seidrade:

A Prelude to Worse Things

So @kingloptr put the idea of Thunderfrostiron in my head and I started writing a thing, but then THIS little ditty popped into my mind and I couldn’t not.

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“Goddamnit!”

Bruce glanced over, mild and placid as ever in the face of such dramatics. “Tony, what’s eatin’ you?”

“I’ll tell you what’s eatin’ me. Jarvis discovered that Tall, Dark and Stormy have been playing hide the hammer in my goddamn suite!” Tony whirled to face him, letting the tablet clatter to the worktable in disgust. “Yeah. Just let that sink in. What the hell am I supposed to do about this? Call Fury? Tell their mom? Film it and put it on the Internet?”

“Huh.” Bruce looked perturbed, but not for any of the right reasons. “Is that really what you’re calling them? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s funny…”

Tony leveled him with a glare. “Do you have any better ideas?”

Bruce considered this question with the gravity it deserved, before hesitantly offering, “ThoLo?”

Tony sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face. “Thou only livest once?” He snorted, then added, “And when thou livest upwards of several millennia, thou might as well schtup thy psychotic little brother? Right.”

Bruce grimaced. “Maybe it’s not that weird for aliens? I mean, we don’t really know anything about the Asgardians, when it comes down to it. Who knows what else they get up to.” He didn’t sound terribly convinced of his own words.

Tony gave a disbelieving huff, spinning petulantly in his chair. “They’d just better not break the bed. I didn’t exactly reinforce that room with magnitude 8.5 earthquakes in mind.” He paused, realizing that wasn’t entirely true. “At least, none with the epicenter on the goddamn mattress.”

Bruce’s eyes widened, as if the mechanics of the situation had just finally sunk in. “I can’t talk about this anymore.”

Tony’s lips pressed tight together as he picked up his tablet, resigned to stewing about the problem alone. Bruce turned back to his papers. A few minutes slipped by in silence.

“What about ‘Thorlok?’ Cuz one of them’s a wizard.”

“Tony.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll show myself out.”