Why is Pine the Best White Chris™️

brassparker:

ok now let me give you the bulletpoints about one Mr. Christopher Whitelaw Pine and how he became the Best White Chris™️

• He’s the most self-aware of the Chrises and checks his privilege on the regular. So much so that 3 years ago on this site, I declared he was gonna be the first white male star to work with Ava DuVernay. The Indie Spirit gods just told me in that moment.
• He seeks out feminist material to work in.
• He looks like a hot, deranged professor on the regular.
• He has a degree in English from Berkley, where he wrote nonsensical poetry and took an erotic fiction writing class, where word on the street his stories were GOOD.
• He owns a flip phone and eats his food like a 5 year old.
• His pants are forever too tight.
• He’s blind as hell.
• He stays dressing like DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet.
• Dude collects blankets and uses big ass words for no reason.
• He wears a pinky ring and can actually pull it off.
• THE GREY IN HIS BEARD
• His adorkable 12 year old ass wrote this letter to Premiere Magazine  about wanting to be Kristy Swanson’s sidekick if she didn’t have a boyfriend.
• His underwear bulge in Unstoppable.
• Hell or High Water. The Princess Diaries 2. 
• He got a black eye from Idris Elba during filming Star Trek 3, and he was so proud that he wanted to flaunt that shit.
• This: 

• He lived down Just My Luck
• Whatever good-good he was giving Olivia Munn back in the day that made me stop and go “Oh word?”
• He got nominated for an Emmy, and no one ever talked about it.
• I sat through a film called Blind Dating because of him.
• His haircut in Wonder Woman.

That concludes this TED Talk.