dictionarywrites:

honestly, in my opinion, the dynamic between loki and thor is fundamentally very unhealthy, on both sides, and the reason for this is because neither of them knows how to really listen to the other, and neither knows how to communicate with the other. 

loki:

• thinks that he knows thor better than thor knows himself
• loki is very unstable, and his perception of how thor feels is heavily affected by his own self esteem at the time
• even if thor is literally saying the opposite, loki will convince himself he knows what thor Really Means
• loki fundamentally thinks thor is better than him and more important than him, and that means he will automatically put thor’s needs and desires (or perceived needs and desires) above his own
• loki is frightened that if he disagrees with or openly disobeys thor (esp pre-thor 2011), that thor will withhold affection and love in the same way that odin will
• often avoids questions, both as a defensive mechanism and to protect thor’s feelings
• loki is hyperaware of the fact that people love thor, and hate loki, and that that is the natural scheme of things. 
• he is uncomfortable when thor acts like people should like loki, because it usually means – from loki’s perspective – that they will pretend to like him in order to please thor.

thor:

• is quite arrogant, and does think that loki should obey thor’s orders.
• does not take into account that loki might actually feel inferior to him, and genuinely does respect and love loki. he just settles naturally into his role as leader, and thinks loki should respect thor’s authority to some extent.
• fundamentally thinks that a lot of the issues loki faces with strangers (before he does anything terrible) are bc loki doesn’t try hard enough to be likable.
• he does not take into account how it might feel to be in loki’s position, and constantly be compared (and found lacking in comparison to) thor.
• thinks that loki just shouldn’t get upset when people call him ergi, and would tell loki to just ignore it before he ever told somebody else to stop saying it in the first place.
• becomes confused, upset, and defensive when loki deceives him instead of disagreeing to his face. he assumes that loki’s deception is inherently malicious, rather than a fear of confrontation.
• often talks over loki and disagrees with him before he’s finished explaining something, especially if he doesn’t like loki’s tone.
• literally loves loki more than anything else in the universe, and tends to change the subject when people say they hate him. he will always defend loki’s good intentions, and will normally prevent people from being straight up nasty to loki’s face.
• doesn’t really occur to him that once thor leaves the room, that faux-nicety will fade