lazulisong:

centrumlumina:

anextrapart:

matzoballer:

judging by fan fictions, the only jobs in the world are being a teacher, lawyer, waiter, or working at a coffee shop

and man do the people with those jobs have a lot of sex

Based on AO3′s AU – Career tag, these are the top 20 areas of employment in the fanfic universe:

1. Coffeeshop Owners and Employees (about 1/3 of the population)
2. Teachers
3. Police and Federal Agents
4. Office Workers – Generic
5. Doctors and Nurses
6. Florists
7. Bakers
8. Private Investigators
9. Models, Fashion Designers and Photographers
10. Bartenders
11. Restaurant Owners and Waitstaff
12. Bookstore Employees
13. Artists
14. Lawyers
15. Firefighters
16. Authors and Editors
17. Grocery Store Employees
18. Pizza Delivery Drivers
19. Chefs
20. Journalists

if yall think i’m going to spend my valuable free time off writing about my actual job, a job in which I have literally cleaned human feces out of a kitchen sink, instead of about someone working at a cute bookstore with five cats and a cute human coming to shyly talk about books and let them pet their cute dog, honey have I got news for you about the purpose of escapist literature